You ever have those days where there is absolutely NO motivation to do anything, it's just hard to wake up in the morning to go to work, and you feel completely emotionally/ spiritually/ physically drained of LIFE????
I would love to say right now that things are great with my job. As far as I recall, I believe I wrote a blog last year around this time about last school year being incredibly difficult for several different reasons, but I felt God leading me to teach there again. Well, I can't say anything has changed..
...for the better.
Things right now are so----eh. Sometimes the only thing that gets me through a day of work is a cute note on the chalkboard from a student. That little bit of hope to finish the day. That gentle push to a happier place when daily frustrations arise. Gosh it's so nice when that happens.
I just found out I'm allergic to 167 types of food, which is what had been causing my daily headaches and stomach aches for many years.
I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I'm stressed. I'm negative. I'm done (my favorite phrase lately).
And what blows my mind everytime,
what brings me to my knees,
something I don't think about enough,
(uummm....reality check?)
Who am I to be feeling this way?
Who am I to think I can do this on my own?
Who am I to think I can change this world by myself?
Who am I to be motivated to do well only by what others encourage me to do?
I am alive today.
My heart continues to beat.
I got the chance to wake up this morning.
I have no right to take on God's tasks [in which I know I will fail]. This is impossible.. to be God, I mean. I've started living by the phrase,"if you want something done right , you have to do it yourself." NO! The reality of it is that if you want something done right, give it to God. Like, for real give it to God. He'll handle it.
Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
But why is this so hard to believe sometimes?
I need prayer. Continuous prayer. There are several unknowns about the summer and next school year for me. Please pray for the future for not only me, but my husband Brian as well. Who knows what's in store for us, but please pray that our journey is all on God's timing, along with His encouragement, and that we take our lives and throw it up to God to bounce us around wherever He wants.
