Kylen's Birth Story

 Kylen Ray Sommer (Kai)

KAI-lin RAY SUM-mer

Origin: Gaelic

Meaning: Narrow & Straight

"Kylen" is a mix of "Karen" [Brian's mom's name] and "Glen" [Jessica's dad's name]. "Ray" comes from Brian's mom as well. "Kai" means "water" in Hawaiian.  

Baby Stats: 

Born on February 12, 2021 [2/12/21] @ 12:54pm

Weight: 8lbs 5oz

Length: 20in

Woah wait. We have ANOTHER kid?! I know, we're still a bit in disbelief ourselves.  For some reason God has entrusted us with raising another child, and we couldn't be more in love with the gift of Kylen! I really need to blog more, but I'm so happy to share Kylen's birth story with the world.  I'm going to be blunt and real with my words and photos.  Please note that this blog may seem "graphic" to some, so if you don't want to know me like that stop now! ;) 

First off, let's just say I WAS SO READY TO HAVE THIS KID.  A couple weeks prior my google searches consisted of "signs your body is ready for labor".  Maybe it's something about a third pregnancy, but being SO uncomfortable for days and weeks at the end is no fun.  I pretty much had contractions every night for a couple weeks, but nothing major.  They always went away and I continued to teach my kindergarteners.  

Thursday was a little different. 

Thursday, the 11th, we didn't have to teach students, but we needed to have professional development all day.  I noticed in the morning I was spotting brownish pinkish discharge a little, but knowing that's normal for almost 38 weeks of pregnancy I didn't think anything of it.  After meetings, picking up kids, and doing all the things, I felt the usual contractions coming around dinner time.  I went to the bathroom and thought maybe I was leaking a little water, and my contractions felt a little stronger than the normal fake ones. 

I got in the shower, did my hair, and told Brian I thought I might go to triage just in case I WAS leaking fluid (this happened with Makena, and means ).  We planned for me just to drive myself and he stayed with the kids.  If I was going to get admitted we'd bring the kids to my mom's house.  

I got to triage around 8:30pm.  After going over all the questions and
such, I got tested twice for fluid leaking.  Both tests were negative for fluid, but then I was sent to ultrasound just to be sure the fluid levels weren't too low.  After ultrasound results revealed that my fluid levels were perfectly fine, I was getting a little disappointed thinking I was getting sent home and needed to continue waiting for something more dramatic to happen.  

Luckily, my doctor said I should stay and be admitted! I was having contractions about 3 minutes apart, but they weren't super strong.  Because I was trying for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section), that put me at a different risk factor in regards to my scar and potential rupture (not likely, but could happen).  They decided to admit me and start a birth plan! Woo! 

I called Brian and he brought the kids to my mom's and got to the hospital around 11:30pm.  The plan was to get an epidural, break my water, hope that breaking my water makes contractions stronger, and baby will come, and BAM we're all good...which kind of happened, but not exactly...

After getting upstairs, the nurses and resident prepped me with paperwork and the plan for getting baby out.  Everything went according to plan at first.  I got the epidural and it went super smoothly.  There were about 5 other people in the room during the epidural, and everyone was talking about golden doodles 😂.  It was so random.  

Anyway, once I was nice and numb (my left side felt more numb than the right.. it was strange), they broke my water.  That was such a strange sensation - like a waterfall between your legs hah! And then every contraction squeezes out a little more.  Never had that with Makena or Tate! 

I was checked a few more times to see if there was any progress, and unfortunately I stayed at 4-5cm for a while.  My contractions were further apart and not super strong, so they started me on pitocin.  Right before that, I had several waves of nausea and almost threw up due to super low blood pressure, but the nurse kept an eye on it. Once I got more fluids in me it got much better!

Pitocin has to be slowly administered, like up the dose every 45 min.  Eventually I got to 6cm (finally!) and after that everything started to go pretty quick! About an hour later after reaching 6cm, I felt some pressure and liquid coming out again.  When the nurse checked, apparently it was the "bloody show" - what happens right before it's time to push.  Soon I felt the bowling ball pressure in my butt which means... time to PUSH! We waited for the doctor to come, I literally pushed for 10 minutes during two contractions, and he was out! 

I seriously couldn't have asked for a better birth.  A successful VBAC after being in labor for 14 hours.  The worst part was feeling nauseous after the epidural - so I guess I can't complain! 

After he was born, and we were doing skin to skin, I asked to see the placenta.  It was honestly pretty awesome to see where Kylen lived and grew on the inside.  AND something rare (apparently) was that there was a loose knot in his umbilical cord - which means he had to have done a crazy 360degree turn in the womb somehow.  

Since the beginning, Kylen latched on to eat really well.  I just was mind-blown with how his baby instincts kicked in.  Since then he's been nursing pretty well, which I'm SO thankful for, especially after not being able to nurse Tate due to him being a preemie and not loving it.  

The last few days have been such a whirlwind.  Doctors/nurses coming in and out, doing tests, waking up me and Kai, etc. There was even a nursing student who took over rounds, and Kylen was the first baby he ever held! It's been fun being looked at as an "experienced" mom this time around... which is probably why I had a nursing student assigned to my room hah! Even going home felt different.  With Makena, I cried SO much freaking out about how we have to be in charge of another life.  With Tate, I had to go home without him since he was in the NICU (hardest thing I've ever had to do).  With Kylen, Brian and I took two cars and I drove Kylen home from the hospital to my mom's to pick up the big kids - no tears this time around...just excitement to introduce our new little one to the rest of the fam.  

First outfit!

I just feel so blessed and thankful for how everything happened this time around.  I just love my family and love the village we are building to help raise our kiddos.  💙💚💜

To Grandma....

When you're young and ignorant, your mind is irrational with the way life works.  You do life with a craving of structure and consistency, and the people in your life are the ones that are in charge of making that happen.  Being born and raised in Hawaii, I never grew up around my grandparents - mom's side or dad's side.  Our family vacations always consisted of traveling to Michigan to see family.  Every single time we came to Michigan, we always stayed with my mom's parents [Grandpa and Grandma Lucas].  It was just expected, and something to get excited about.  
Consistency.  
Simplicity. 
We usually did the same things and ate all the same foods (Grandma's meatballs. Oh yeah.), but every time we'd visit we would see it all through a different lens because we'd be at least a few years older since the last visit.  The thing is though, we'd get older, but really it was like grandma and grandpa stayed the same.  

After Brian and I got married, my grandparents were a huge support to us in so many ways.  Even after we had kids, my grandma was willing to babysit when Makena and Tate were infants if we every needed anything, even in her late 80s!  Grandma and grandpa are just always...there, in a good way.  You really start to believe these people are going to live forever, and almost expect it. 

Last night, my grandma died. 
There.... I said it. 

There was a serious car accident. Grandpa had minor injuries, but her injuries were extensive; lots of broken bones.  My gut told me although she was very much alive and talking for a couple days afterwards, this wasn't going to end well.  Last night the family was called to her bedside around 10pm, as the oxygen she was receiving wasn't helping and her lungs were filling up with fluid.  With tears in our eyes the decision is made to take off the oxygen mask and let God take her home. My uncle reads Psalm 23 and John 14, and we play her favorite hymn off my phone - I Need Thee Every Hour.  I'm so glad I asked her what her favorite hymn was a few days ago.  About 20 minutes later she takes her last breaths - her heart stops beating and a quiet peace enters the room.  She's home. 
Grandpa never let go of her hand. 
"I'm sorry for your loss, folks" the doctor says. 
"[time of death] 23:52"

You see, Geraldine Lucas, my grandma, isn't wasn't just a normal grandma.  She was a beautiful, kind, and generous woman.  She wore blue toe-nail polish. She went through a lot in her life, and I only know bits and pieces of it all.  She had a servant's heart, but was never afraid to tell you "how it is" and at times spoke very bluntly.  She always prayed and made it her purpose to tell others about the Lord she knew so well.  She always had good intentions with everything she did and said. 

Her and my grandpa are soul-mates, married for 65+ years.  Their relationship is one of the greatest examples I've seen of how a marriage should be.  One of the best things about it? 
Grandpa always holds her hand. 
Always. 

I can only imagine what she's doing in heaven right now. Finally pain-free and sitting with Jesus...probably in a garden full of beautiful flowers that she loves so much. Just where she wants to be.  

Grandma, you have touched my life and so many others'.  You lived a full 89 years worth of life and will be truly missed.  You didn't live forever here, but now you live forever in our hearts and forever in Heaven with Jesus.  Rest in peace, and I cannot wait to see you again in heaven someday.  

4 generations, me on grandma's lap

My high school graduation

My wedding in the Dominican Republic

Meeting Makena in the hospital

4 generations

Update 2: Tate's Home!

Apparently I'm terrible at updates, because thankfully Tate is no longer in the NICU, and has been home since Monday! Starting Friday morning, Tate started eating all his bottles.  After 24 hours of eating everything from the bottle, the nurse took his feeding tube out and the nurses and doctors started talking about bringing in the car seat for the carseat test in order to bring him home! You know it's getting close to discharge day when the doctor talks about bring the carseat :)


By Sunday it was pretty clear Tate was going to be discharged on Monday, but they can't officially tell you that until the morning he'd be discharged.  The next morning I called and the nurse told me Tate would be ready to be discharged later that afternoon! Minor panic set in that not everything was ready for him to come home, but we figured it out and are still figuring it out.

Tate was in the NICU for 15 days, and has now been home for 4 days.  He needs to eat every three hours around the clock, and is on half breast milk and half special preemie formula for each feeding.  It's hard when all I want to do is nurse, but hopefully someday we can get to that point.  Till then, my breast pump is my best friend.

Mama's milk

Tate's first doctor appointment
Now weighs 4lbs 2oz!

Yep. We're exhausted.

 It also absolutely blows my mind that I have two kids.  Like really? These last few days I've been so nervous to be alone with both of them at the same time.  I've been SO lucky to have my mom here the last few weeks to help us out.  To those of you with two or more kids at home (especially two under two), you must seriously have super-human mom powers.  I'm hoping my super-human mom powers come in soon! I still can't imagine how he's still supposed to technically be inside of me.  Crazy!

I just want to say thank you to everyone for your support, prayers, beautiful gifts for Tate, and dinners  for our family.  We have been so in awe of God's grace during this crazy time in our lives, and have felt so blessed by so many people on this journey.  I have been brought to tears so many times by observing how God has been using so many people in our lives to come together to support us.  We are still on the long road to getting Tate nice and plump to get on those growth charts, but until then we are so thankful for God's timing on all of this.

Tate is the size of a Bitty Baby! 

Update 1: NICU life, 10 days old

Tate is 1 week and 3 days old today!

Whew. It's been 10 days since Tate's been born.  Most days he improves from the day before, which is pretty encouraging.  Since he's been in NICU, he's been able to breathe on his own and keep his body temperature regulated.  His blood sugar levels have been stable, and basically everything has been staying stable - every once in a while labs come back a little higher or lower than normal, but it becomes corrected quickly.  He's steadily gaining weight now, which is also great! He's currently 3lbs 9oz (birth weight was 3lbs 7oz).

Daddy holding the rest of
my tube feeding

What's holding Tate back from coming home is eating.  He has been doing great at learning how to eat from a bottle or me, but doesn't quite have enough stamina to finish his feedings.  He's finished two bottle feedings in general so far, but he needs to strictly eat from a bottle, all feedings, for 48 hours or more - no using his feeding tube.  So far, Tate is taking about half his bottles by mouth, but the rest through feeding tube. However, this is still an improvement!  He keeps falling asleep before he finishes eating, which is completely understandable since he's technically still supposed to be in the womb and it takes a lot of work to eat.  The doctor described it as a child learning how to walk.  You take some steps, then fall, then try again and go further, and fall again, etc until you get it. That's definitely what this all feels like.  One step forward, and fall.  

My first outfit!

I'd like to say we're getting into a routine, but we're still trying to figure it out.  It's hard to live this double life.  I think a couple days ago it finally hit me how hard this all is - coming and going from the hospital every day, each time not being able to leave with your child.  Everything is so unknown, but the one thing that keeps us going is knowing that nothing about all of this is a surprise to God.  If I've learned anything about this whole experience, it's that my timing doesn't matter at all.  It's God's timing that matters, and I need to trust and give it all to Him.  

Thank you to everyone praying for us, and bringing us meals.  We are completely humbled and overwhelmingly grateful for you being there for us.  Thank you so much for your support, and we can't wait for everyone to meet baby Tate!

Teeny foot

Tate's Birth Story

It's a BOY!

Tate Asher  (TAYT ASH-ur)
Born March 12, 2017

Tate: English Origin. Meaning: Cheerful

Asher: Hebrew. Meaning: happy, blessed, fortunate. In the Bible, one of Jacob's sons - promised a life blessed with abundance.  Genesis 30:13

First of all, I can't believe I haven't written a blog since Makena's Birth Story! Now almost two years later we have another child!  It's so incredibly mind-blowing awesome to think of everything that has happened in the last two years in our lives.  More on that later. 

Tate's birth story is a complete 180 difference than Makena's.  Basically everything that didn't happen with Makena, happened with Tate! Once again, I wanted to write this blog mostly for myself to remember all the juicy details of Tate's birth, and to remember the current long road ahead with having a baby in the NICU.  Maybe this blog post will find you with memories of when you had your child, or maybe an encouragement to you with something similar you're going through.  Whatever the case, I hope this post finds you well :)

It all started at an ultrasound done on a Thursday at 33 weeks.  I was scheduled to have this ultrasound in order to check the growth of the baby since he was considered small for his gestational age in other ultrasounds.  When meeting with the doctor afterwards, she told me the baby was definitely small, more symmetrical and proportioned than a typical baby at 33 weeks gestation.  So small in fact he was in less than the 10th percentile and only weighed 3.2 pounds. Another red flag was that my amniotic fluid was low.  At this appointment as well, my blood pressure was particularly higher than it had ever been (but it was also a stressful work week).  All these things together now made my pregnancy considered as "high-risk".  Basically when this happens you need to go in twice a week or more for a non-stress test and ultrasound or whatever tests they feel they need to give you. 

The following Monday I had an appointment for a non-stress test and later a follow up with a doctor.  The baby seemed fine on the non-stress test, not super active, but active enough I guess.  However, when meeting with the doctor he said he noticed there were high levels of protein in my urine and wanted me to get some blood work done just in case because he didn't want to ignore it.  So I stayed, got blood work done, and they said they'd call me later with the results.  

Afterwards I went back to work, taught piano after school, picked up Makena, and got the phone call.  My doctor said two of my tests came back with higher than normal results, and he wanted me to be monitored overnight in the hospital. 

Woah.

After a minor panic moment we went home, quick ate dinner, I showered, got ready, and we were on our way.  

The next three days and three nights in the hospital were a blur of blood tests, non-stress tests, ultrasounds, vitals, pee tests, doctors, and hours of waiting.  Basically doctors were trying to figure out why the baby wasn't growing, why my fluid was low, and why my body was reacting to things in weird ways.  When I left, there really weren't any conclusions made, except what was initially thought to be preeclampsia was decided that it wasn't that.  

So home I went on Thursday.... told to be on half bed rest and forced to start my maternity leave 6 weeks earlier than expected.  

On Saturday I went to school to try to clear up the chaos of having an unexpected sub all week, and when I came home I did my normal stuff and after Makena went to bed I laid down to relax in front of the tv, and started Moana.  While watching Moana I started feeling light-headed and almost buzzed like from drinking a little too much alcohol (obviously I hadn't been drinking).  My heart felt like it was beating out of it's chest, along with my head. Something was wrong.  Brian called his coworker/PA friend and he came over to check on me.  He stayed with Makena while me and Brian quick went to Meijer to get my blood pressure checked.  

It was high.

I called the answering service for my doctor, and after the doctor called me back he told me to go into triage just to get checked since my pregnancy was high-risk.  So off to triage we went! On the way to the hospital I felt fine again, and super tired since it was 1am, so I was telling Brian to turn around since I was fine.  Luckily, he didn't and we went in anyway.  In triage, they took my blood and put baby on the monitor for a non-stress test - something I had become very familiar with. After about an hour of being on the monitor, baby wasn't being very active (not something uncommon with these tests) so they sent me to ultrasound.  Baby did all his movements required to "pass,"  but my fluid was a lot lower than it was on Thursday when I was discharged from the hospital - went from 5.6% to 4.3%.  They also noticed after my ultrasound, when I went back on the monitor, that every once in a while the baby's heartbeat was decelerating but not consistently.  

SURPRISE! 

Because of the lower fluid and heartbeat decelerations.....

I was being admitted to the labor and delivery floor. And I couldn't eat or drink anything - not even water. Ugh. 

Rewind an hour before that at 3am. I ate a huge thing of these amazing french fries Brian got because I was STARVING. Thank GOD I ate when I could! 

So now we're on the Labor & Delivery floor.  I met with the doctor from my office on call, and it turns out MY doctor was on call right after her at 7. There's something about having your doctor with you that makes you so much more comfortable.  So I met with my doctor and the  Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctors that I had met last week, and they started talking about keeping me on the monitor for a while and if the heartbeat continues to have decelerations they'd do a c-section to get him out of there since that meant he was in distress. If not, I might have to stay in the hospital to be monitored.   I started praying so hard that there would just be a clear answer already, and if Tate was meant to come out today that it becomes clear for doctors to do so! 

Within the hour (it was about 8am), my nurse came in and tried to mentally prepare me for the fact that the doctors were saying I'd probably have a c-section this morning.  Also, the anesthesiologist came in and talked to me about everything as I signed consent forms.  And around 8:30, it was obvious to doctors that they needed to get that baby out, since "the risk of fetal death was greater being inside than out" - their words, not mine. They had to do a c-section because the baby probably couldn't survive a vaginal delivery. It wasn't a super emergency, but they wanted it done sooner than later, and said they'd wait for Brian to get here. 

Oh man. 

I called Brian at least 27 times.  He had gone back home right before I got admitted to rest and be with Makena because it didn't seem like anything huge would be happening. Whoops. And he sleeps like a rock and wasn't picking up the phone! I called my Aunt and she sent my uncle to come down to the house to bang on some windows to wake him up.  After finally waking up, he got Makena ready and dropped her off at my Aunt's, and finally made it to the hospital around 10am.  

I really didn't even know what to think or how to feel...I just wanted to make sure baby was okay and do anything I could to help him.  

So off I went to get a spinal tap.  After they numb you up your husband can come in.  The rest went really quickly.  C-sections are really weird, because you can't feel anything sharp or painful, but there's major pressure when they're shimmying the baby out of your uterus.  Pretty soon we heard a cry and baby Tate was born! 

3lbs 7oz
16.5" long

Welcome to the family, buddy :) 

He seemed fine, just really teeny! He was breathing on his own, and regulating his own body temperature, which are really great signs.  I got to give him a kiss and he went off to NICU with daddy following. 

Holding Tate for the first time,
about 6 hours old

Taking advantage of Meijer auto-wheel chairs,
I'm a hot mess in every way you can imagine!

Honestly, everything went really well.  Doctors were super surprised and kept commenting on how calm I was during the whole thing. Honestly, I knew God had everything under control and I was just thankful for the answer to prayer of having clear answers on what was best for Tate. For my first surgery ever, I’d say it went pretty well! Recovery isn’t pretty, but when is it ever? I’d say the hardest part of this birth story was having to be discharged from the hospital without your baby. Absolutely the worst moment of this whole experience. 

Other than that, we’re now leading the double life of NICU visits and “normal” life. But it’s been encouraging to see improvements with Tate every day, and hopefully he’ll be home with us soon.  I’ll continue to post updates about Tate in the NICU as we go on this journey.